दिवाली Of 21.10.06.

It was the occasion of Diwaali. The date was 21st of october, 2006. I usually enjoy the festival of Diwaali because it comes in Autumn season & Eid, guru poornimaa also arrives with diwaali. I love celebrating Christmas also. But why I don't know all my excitements vanish on the day of every Diwaali I've seen? The day before Diwaali, there's no any limit of enthusiasm but on real day it disappears. The reason may be that I don't like crackers & people of India have confined Diwaali to crackers only. Also there is not any social interaction in my locality. Everyone celebrates festivals within his/her family. No one wants to wish others. So I find no one to celebrate festivals with, except my sister. So boring! Just lighting some Sparklers, candles & "Diyay". Eating sweets & going to bed thinking about previous Diwaali. It's the story of every year. This entire process continues every year & year by year the festival spirit decreases. So I was not much happy on 21.10.2006's morning. It was just like other ordinary days. No excitement, enthusiasm & happiness at all. Atmosphere was dull & uninteresting. So the day ended in somewhat decorating walls with lights, cleaning house & purchasing sweets. But the night time was just unexpected. I couldn't even dream about that. I was dressed up alongwith my sister. Then we did our Poojaa & came out of the room. Then suddenly Shweta didi came on terrace. She's only daughter of our house-owner. She had crackers & candles with her. She asked me to help her in arranging & lighting candles. Then she asked both me & my didi to burst crackers. I never enjoy crackers, neither my sister does. In fact my sister is very afraid of crackers which produce sound. So she was hesitating on bursting them. Then Shweta didi said these are non-sound producing crackers. So my sister took one and lighted. It was an "Anaar". Actually we both were bursting Anaar for the first time in our life. But we really enjoyed her company. After 5 years someone had celebrated any festival with me apart from my family. I remember we had some very good friends in C.C.I. (Cement corporation of India) colony. There were Riddhi-Siddhi, Keerti, Preeti didi & her bro. We all used to visit each other's home & exchange greeting cards. We used to enjoy Diwaali a lot there. But when we left C.C.I. everything changed. No one was to share the Diwaali feelings with us. But I was very happy to see Shweta Didi coming & celebrating with me & didi (Nidhi). I was amazed that "koi to mere saath khushiyaan baantnaa chaahtaa hai". I had never found any one interested to be in my company. She did that & It was really a special thing for me. Actually I think there is an invisible repulsive force around me that drives people away from me. I'm grateful to Shweta didi that she came & celebrated Diwaali with me. I respect you a lot. You are among those very few girls whom I respect. Why I like Diwaali even though I don't celebrate it with great excitement? Because in the autumn season great songs come. There's a festive smell in the air. I still remember the song "Kal tumhaaraa hai" sung by Sonu nigam in the Compaq computers Ad featuring SRK. This song reminds me of Diwaali. Weather becomes excellent. We get relief from the excessive heat. Also this Diwaali gave me chance to find my Idol (No guessing who's she?). I started liking her 6 days after or on the 7th day from this Diwaali. So I love Diwaali & especially this Diwaali which brought so many good things for me.

My Youth Festival Experience.

jiMy only memorable incident which I really want to tell again & again. I reckon it's 5th of september, 2006. Obviously it's The Teachers' day. So I alongwith my friend decided to wish our teachers in an attractive manner. I took the chalk & wrote HAPPY TEACHERS' DAY FROM ALL THE STUDENTS OF B.Sc IST YEAR in large letters on blackboard. I also decorated the blackboard by drawing flowers & other things. I used to do this on every occasion be it's any teacher's Birthday, any festival/occasion or Children's day etc, during my school life. I am pretty experienced in doing this. But I made a mistake. I wrote SEPTEMBAR instead of SEPTEMBER (you can still find this error on many ooccasions). When I was done drawing I returned to my place. A girl (Anita who's my rival at studies) stood up and rubbed that A & put E. I asked my friend to correct it. How foolish was this? LOL:)! But then I realised my mistake & put E again. So, Ist period was of our English teacher. She didn't notice anything. It's the 3rd period when the series of events started. Our Zoology Lecturer came. She had given us some diagrams to be drawn from home. They were extremely difficult to draw. I had drawn them on my notebook. When my turn came to show them, I went to her & shown my notebook. She was stunned to see all the diagrams drawn using a PEN not a pencil. The diagrams were too complex & had to be drawn in pencil. It required you to erase many lines every now & then. But I did all the diagram work using Pen & there was no mistake in any line. They're absolutely flawless. I was very happy that I made an impact on her. I usually can't impress teachers. I usually come out as an UNDERDOG. Bow bow! Now you'll think I'm behaving like "Apne moonh miyaa mitthoo". But I'm not telling about my drawing. It just triggered the entire series. Mrs Shamina Jain (our Zoology Lecturer) asked me if I'm interested in helping her in Stage decoration & Pot decoration. She asked me if I've ever done this. I was hesitant to say yes because I thought that It's Girls' work. But then I said yes. Anita also insisted to take part in this. My friends said to me I'm gonna be killed. She will be thinking about revenge. I'll tell about My College & class mates later. That's all happened in that single day. Next day A Maths teacher asked me to bring a "Kamohi" (A medium size earthen Pot) to start the proceedings. Then I along with my friend was asked to order 23 such Pots. Oh God! it was very difficult to bring all those pots in 1 trip. We consumed about entire day going from 1 place to another. But it was not done. All the excitement is yet to be told.
I tried in other activities of Youth festival (It was organised for the first time in our College.) like Painting/cartoon/poster making Competitions. I also submitted my name for Hindi/English song competition as well as Mimicry competition. Finally I gave my name for One act play. But there was politics going in the selection procedure. They have selected their favorite candidates many months earlier. They just wanted to pick me as a Gap filler. I thought it's my insult. I'd not take part in this. This decision was a bit hard as I was a regular participant of all the academical & Co-curricular activities in School. I remember I took part in 5 activities (Poster making, Orchetra, Science exhibition, Group song & One act play) in our Annual Function, 2003 & their time clashed. I had to send my friend to sit beside my Science model & performed Orchestra with a "False beard on my face + hair whitened"! So keeping myself off these was not easy but I didn't have any option. So I gave all my time to Pot decoration & I had a great time doing that. Though the work was not easy. But I enjoyed that work very much. I'm telling you my secret that I like the smell of Petroleum products/polishes/paints etc. That too made me curious to take part.
First we had to apply a coat of Black paint on all the pots. Then the 2nd coat. But my pots were to be painted with Golden colour. I had to make 2 pots with picture of Lord Ganesha & that was difficult. Ist to put the Golden coat which took 3 days to dry up. Then 2nd coat. And painting directly without erasing on an uneven surface was very time-taking & tough. Finally I used glitters' tube to draw. During all this, there was a Didi (Neeti, B.sc med IIIrd) with us & she was very helping. Though I was busy with my own work but I have had some conversations with her. I helped her in many ways alongwith my friend. He gets mixed up with people so easily that sometimes I think I'd be like him. Anyways I'm happy with myself & I'm happy being introvert. But 1 incident I still remember. I was in College Auditorium (so called) with my friend. Suddenly Neeti Didi came with her elder sister & started to conversate with him. I moved to other corner. Then Neeti didi introduced her sister to me. She asked me something but I didn't reply. Then Neeti didi said I'm very shy of girls. I was feeling miserable but it's my identity.
We all had to rush to our workplace. So we all went to Zoology lab where all the decoration work was happening. They started to conversate & my friend asked me to talk too. I talked with her but with my eyes facing ground. She told me that it seems you are having lack of confidence. If you go to any personality development class, the first thing they will tell you is to look into the eyes of person you are talking to. I agree but I can't help. That's all happened during our Inter-Zonal-Youth-Festival, 06 organized on 27,28 & 29th of september. Our college did a brilliant job getting many awards. My work was not award-winning but satisfying for me because I made good relationship with following teachers.
1. Shamina ma'm.
2. Anupamlata ma'm (Our Botany teacher we were considering as Hitler).
3. Anupamaa ma'm (Our Chemistry lecturer/Very strict & Discipline loving.)
4. Unknown sir (Some other class' English lecturer.)
5. Suneeta ma'm (Our 2nd Zoology lecturer.)

These are the songs I associate with that great period.
1. Tere Bin (Aatif Aslam /Mithoon).
2. Naksha (Sonu Nigam/Pritam).
3. Kya Mujhe Pyaar Hai (KK/Pritam).
4. All Aahistaa-Aahistaa songs (Wonder Himesh+KK+Kunal).
5. Ishk Kiyaa Kiyaa (HR/HR).
I really can't forget this Youth festival (even if I didn't do much for it.) But I got the chance to know about the nature of teachers. Anupamlata ma'm came out to be completely different. We thought she's arrogant & strict but she behaved very sweetly. She sung & also painted some pots. She got mixed up with us nicely. Otherwise I don't interact with teachers. I do just like this: They speak, I listen; They ask, I tell; I don't ask, they don't care! LOL :)I laugh like this. I don't laugh with showing many teeth & or with a sound. I simply show some teeth or just give a smile. So in next post, I'll tell you about my favourite dates. Hey not the dates with GF's (I don't have any & I dun want to have any) but some "Din/Taareekhein". Keep commenting (I know I don't get comments "Par likhnay mein kyaa jaataa hai.")

My Trip To Patna

It was 16th of june, 2007 when I left for Patna. Actually I & Didi had no interest in going there. It's very tiring & exhausting travel. A journey of about 1105 Kms by Bus & Train is very energy sapping (that too in the hottest month of the year!). All these things were haunting me. But when I woke up (at 4.00 A.M. as usual!) it was extremely pleasant weather. Slight drizzle had made the ennvironment nice. So we left at 8.00 A.M. But the tragedies started here. We had to reach New delhi Railway station & we didnot take the direct bus. We changed 3 buses & the last one was pathetic. Driver had started playing boring music. I didnot get the place for putting my feet. Jaise taise We reached New delhi Railway Station. Then we had to wait for 4.5 hours there. But the good thing was that train arrived at its right time (5.20 P.M.). We made ourself comfortable inside the train as there was no rush or hurry. We had reserved seats. There was a Bro-Sis duo in front of our seat & they were amusing. They were talking about computers & internet all the time. I really got a chance to know how much they knew about internet. They were strange! They were saying that while giving E-mail IDs one must give his/her password too! So our train left the station at 5.45 P.M. The start was boring as it didnot pickup the speed. But later on it was running with good pace. Papa told us to sleep at around 9.30 P.M. I went to the upper berth and it didnot have space to accomodate my legs. I had to bend them. But I slept well. Then I woke up at 4.17 A.M. It was "Mugalsaraay" junction. Then I woke my sister up & we brushed our teeth. She fell asleep again but I couldn't sleep more. Finally the train reached Patna railway station at 6.50 A.M. My mama had come to pick up us. We reached his flat at 7.15 A.M. But we were not excited on reaching there. I dunno why but there wasn't any excitement at all. First 2 days were like hell. But from Monday I got the chance to see Ritul ji @ 8.00 A.M. I also got a companion to get rid of all the boredom. Guess who? Aray yaar it's HR himself. I got an MP3 CD of his songs there and I just kept on listening to his soulful voice & composition. I also saw him on Aaj-tak on the occasion of "The World's Music Day". They had arranged for direct conversation with HR. I wished I could tell this to Magic W&. She'd have definitely called on number 011-23684888 to talk to him. I saw his interview on Zoom channel also. From then I started to feel like staying there with my sisters Gungun @ Aasthaa (9 yrs), Ishitaa-Harshitaa (13 yrs) & Sonali @ Khushi (5.5 yrs). I especially like Ishitaa-Harsitaa because of their gentle & obeying nature. We all visited Patna museum, Science center & Hanumaan mandir. We had a great time @ S.center. I really liked my elder mausi's food. She cooks just like my mom. We went to our 2nd mausi's house that was very far away. It took 40 minutes to reach there. There was reduced voltage & humdity. I was feeling very bored of that place. I was just thinking about Ritul ji. But it was more like a tension as I was thinking about blogs written for her. They were making me sick. I felt like crying. But I managed to get rid of those feelings because I know she's not like that. Any RITUL JOSHI JI fan reading this please reply. I also went to my mummy's mama's house. Their sons are originally our mamas but we call them bhaiyaa as they are of same age. They also have got a PC. I listened to HR's songs there. Last 4 days were very exciting. I didnot want to leave the place but I had to. I started to realize that it was my mistake not feeling great there. I developed a very strong bond with Gungun. I didnot like her earlier because she used to put pseudo allegations on me that I beat her & don't treat her normally. Actually I was jealous of her that she's getting so much affection from my parents & relatives. I myself was young at that time & no one paid attention towards me. Everyone was behind her. But now I realize my mistake. It was foolish to be jealous of my cute sister. So we had a great time there at Patna. I can't forget this place. It's my motherland & I love it, it's people, their accent & sweets. I missed Magic W& there a lot as there were no Cyber-cafes nearby. I couldn't contact her. But why didn't she reply? Well we left Patna on 28th of june. It was heart touching moment when I saw my Nana ji weaping. Even worse was that I forgot to touch his feet. My Maami ji also behaved with us in a very good manner. I liked her food. MAMA JI IF U R READING THIS, TELL MAAMI JI THAT I LOVED HER FRUIT CUSTARD & CHANAY KI SABJI. THEY BOTH WERE DELICIOUS. MAUSI JI (DEEPAA & VIBHAA) I LOVE YOU BOTH, MAUSA JI I RESPECT BOTH OF YOU & GUNGUN-ANMOL, KHUSHI, ISHITAA-HARSHITAA YOU ARE ALL GREAT, CUTE & CLOSE TO MY HEART. I'M MISSING ISHITAA-HARSHITAA'S LOVING, GUNGUN'S MISCHIEVOUS, ANMOL'S SCISSOR YOU THROUGH & KHUSHI'S TOUCH-ME-NOT BEHAVIOUR. NANA JI'S STORY TELLING, MAAMIJI'S ACCENT/LAUGHING/FOOD, DEEPAA MAUSI JI'S COOKING/ADVICE, VIBHAA MAUSI JI'S CHILDISH ACTS & MAUSA JI'S (donon) GENTLE NATURE. NAANI JI (BELATED) I LOVE YOU & MISS YOU A LOT. PATNA, A CITY CAN'T BE FORGOTTEN EASILY.Bas we reached New-delhi @ 8.45 A.M. on 29th of june. Finally we were inside our home @ 1.25 P.M. Aunty (our house-owner) had prepared food for us. We took the lunch & I went to watch the match. So it ends the story. Missing the place badly. Never know when I'll get the chance to visit Patna again. Kids will be grown up till our next visit. Tell what do you think? I'm desperately waiting for comments.

Ji Aap Kaun?

This story I'm writing to tell you an embarrassing incident of mine. What happened actually was that I was in Delhi to take my PMT (Pre medical test) in the year 2006. My center was in "Shreshtha vihaar". So I reached there 1.5 hours before the time. Now the funny part starts! A girl reached to me & asked me "Shashank, Tumhaaraa center bhi yahin par padaa hai kyaa?". I was shocked & surprised at this. This's really unexpected for me that a girl I don't know is approaching me and asking me something. Then I thought she might be my sister's friend & I must speak with respect. So I asked her "Ji, aap kaun hain?". She was stunned at this. Then she replied "Aray main Khushboo, tumhaari classmate". Now it was my turn to blush. Actually she was my classmate & we were studying together for two years (in class XIth & XIIth) & I had never seen her face that's why I made that silly mistake. This incident is so humorous that whenever I remember it I feel extremely strange on this. I had made that girl feel Embarrassed in front of her friend as well as myself in front of so many students. They were laughing at me. My cousin brother & sister, on listening to this, also made fun of me that I couldn't recognise a girl I was studying with for 2 years. Now I don't have audacity to face her. She might be thinking to take revenge. If she is reading this, I AM APOLOGIZING. PLEASE FORGIVE ME. She's still with me in the B.Sc IInd year. She was in Ist year with me too, but she has never said anything about this funny incident. There's no tradition of Boys & girls interaction in our college They speak to each other hiding themselves from others. Probably it's the reason that has saved me from her anger. Otherwise she'd have scolded me in front of other students. FUNNY!!! AIN'T IT?

Weird Beard.

It's a very funny incident happened with me. The whole story is like this:It was the time when our School "D.R.K. Aadarsh Vidyaa Mandir" was organizing a "Junior students presentation" in which students of upto class VIII could take part. I was the student of class VII at that time. So there was a Play to be performed. Our english teacher Mr. Raajiv sharma called the interested students for audition in Library. I also went there. When my turn came, he asked me to act. I imitated Sohaib iliyaasi (Anchor of "India's most wanted"). He selected me immidiately. It was my first chance to act. Next day we're given roles. I got the Lead role of a "Saadhu mahaaraaj". The play's name was "Andher nagri, chaupat raajaa" by Bhartendu harishchandra. So all our team practiced for it. It was 14th or 15th of Octobar, 2000 on which our "Junior Students'Presentation" was scheduled. Our play was the central attraction of the whole program. So it was performed last. I had not eaten anything since 7.00 A.M.because we had to reach school early in the morning to rehearse. So after final rehearsel, we went to make-up room where I was applied make-up, then I put on my costume & finally I got that Artificial "Daadhi-moonchh" (Beard-moustache) on my face. The real fun starts here. They used old "Spirit Gum" to adhere Daadhi-moonchh on my face. We completed our show & returned to make-up room. I was removing all the make-up. But a problem started to creep. The old Spirit-Gum was adhered so hard that it couldn't be removed. Sharma sir tried all his best to remove it, but he didnot get success. Spirit-gum had hardened just like "Fevi-kwik". Then he tried to soak the Beard with water, but it couldn't remove that. He tried pulling that forcely, but it caused a lot of pain in my cheeks. Then my parents came. My mom got so nervous that she started to weap. Because some parts of cheeks got torn out. The moments were tensed. Suddenly Sir asked a boy to bring Ethanol (spirit) from market. When he was gone, I was terrified that my face will be ruined. I had a very delicate & Childish skin that time. So he brought Spirit & Sir soaked the Beard hairs in that. He also started to pull that hard. I was feeling so much pain that my eyes got filled with tears. But my mom was giving me courage. After many attempts, Sir gave-up saying that Please go home. It's getting dark outside. He's right. So we took the Spirit bottle from him & rushed to home with beard attached on my face. We couldn't meet other teachers & fellows. We're in a hurry to leave. So I reached home, where my sister was already present. She asked me what has happened to your face? I couldn't say a word but started pulling out that while applying ethanol on face. Imagine, the pain when peeled/injured skin meets ethanol. It was not bleeding but the burning sensation of ethanol was causing intense pain. It did not get off may face that night also. It took 3-4 days to completely get removed from my face. There's still a light black mark on my left cheek. This incident is more like a comic one rather than a tragic one. The pain, I've forgotten but the happiness that play has given to me is simply unforgettable. I got a Silver coin from our school Manager Shri Pramod daalmiyaa for my acting. It was widely acclaimed & students started to call me "Mahant ji". I also acted in two more plays namely "Poster" & "Hiranyakashyap kaa murder case". I'll tell you about the latter in other post. Poster is not memorable. I was just like "Extra". But Andher nagri....is my best play. I'm happy to act in this.

How I M different?

This text is written to tell why do I think I'm different from other persons of my age. Well there are many reasons.
1. My physique: What I can tell about my physique? It's just pathetic. I'm very concerned about this. But I can't help myself. I'm destined to live like this. Generally you'll never find a person as thin as me. But now I don't care. I have no aspirations except studying harder & getting admission in an MCA college. I'll work hard to become a Programmer, web & graphic designer & animator. I'd love to join Aaj-tak in any form. I also want to be a journalist there. Nothing else. No Girl-friend or friend, charizma or personality becoz I'm what I'm.
2. My strange behaviour: I strongly believe that there are 2 Shashanks in my body. One who says that I should not do this/that & other one forces to do that. One remains calm & composed, other remains a bit different. One wants to express himself, other tries to content himself. Though there's not much difference in the 2 avataars but I know that I need to keep one behaviour. I do many foolish mistakes in front of people. I don't want to give them any chance to laugh at me. But repeatedly I do the same mistake. I've lost all the confidence to speak to girls. Well I don't want to do that either. I'm happy in my own territory. I don't need people to talk. I don't get admirations so I'm happy getting no comments from people. My behave changes in front of girls. I hesitate, palpitate & struggle to walk normally in their presence. Here again that dual-personality comes to play. One shashank says that U should make yer presence felt among them and other says U don't need to impress them. I think 2nd shashank is right. I should concentrate on my studies.
3. Introvertism: This is a virtue I'd say is my asset. I don't want to lose this. This will give me enough time to think about my career. My fellows say I'm boring. But I say that I have qualities of an actor & mimicry artist. I can make them laugh & cry at the same time. My poetry is so emotional that majority of them are created with tears in my eyes. I don't think I'll feel comfortable with boys/girls of New delhi. I have to study there but I have made my mind up that I'll remain content within myself & not indulge in parties or anything like this. Though I'll be laughed at, but I know that I'm not worth getting a friend (in reality). I don't have qualities to make friends like good looks, physique or a perfect smile. I have crooked denture. But still I LUV BEING AN INTROVERT. MAGIC W& SAID THIS IS MY BRAHMAASTRA. THANKS FOR QUOTING THIS.
4. Shyness: If I feel miserable in girls' presence, I can say I'm shy. I'm even shy of my elder sister Shweta didi (daughter of our house owner). I'll tell about her in next post but lemme tell you she's a damn good didi. Cute, confident, gentle, cheerful & loving. Talking about my shyness, I'm telling that people don't like this. My own sister says to get rid of this much shyness. But I'm not going to do this. I'll remove this shyness when it comes to asking anything from men but definitely I'll not look into eyes of any girl except my sister's. I have audacity to gaze into the eyes of strictest of teachers (majority of my fellows can't do this. They fear that looking into teachers' eyes will cause teachers to ask them questions.) But I can do this without any hesitation. Why lose this asset just to get my eyes satisfied! My fellows say that God has given us eyes to see the beauty of girls. Why do you get yer off them? Then I say that I don't have looks & personality to do this (this kinda thing suits the boyz who are good to look at). When they (girls) laugh at me even if I'm not gazing at them, think what'll happen if I tease them? They'll say "naa shakal, naa soorat aur hamein ghoor rahaa hai". Also if I had a good face & personality, I wouldn't have done that. It's not my nature. PROUD TO BE SHY. BUT I'LL DEVELOP CONFIDENCE IN FRONT OF MEN IF NOT GIRLS. WAISE BHI JAB MAIN RITUL JI KI IZZAT KARTAA HOON TO MUJHE KYAA PADI HAI BAAKIYON SE BATIYAANAY KI? UNKAY AAGAY SAB FAIL.
5. My choices: Talking about my choice for a perfect date. The answer is no choice. I'm not worth getting a date & I love this. My choice for a perfect girl. Today's guys want Bold, assertive, scissor-U-thru style & underclad girls. And my choice is an educated but valued girl. She must know Indian culture even if she's educated in foreign. Simple, sober, educated, possessing high moral values & well dressed. Looks are not at all important. These are the qualities I want. But I'M NOT WORTH GETTING ANYKIND OF GIRL. WHY MAKE THE LIFE OF ANY GIRL HELLISH? I'M HAPPY LIVING ALONE. I DON'T WANT ANY GIRL IN MY LIFE.
So these are the 5 reasons that make me different. They seperate me from the rest. Log kaheingay ki Shashank to ajeeb praani hai. But I say I'M HAPPY BEING STRANGE. At least I'm not hurting any one physically pr mentally. MERE JAISAA Sample MILNAA MUSHKIL HI NAHIN NAAMUMKIN HAI!