How I M different?

This text is written to tell why do I think I'm different from other persons of my age. Well there are many reasons.
1. My physique: What I can tell about my physique? It's just pathetic. I'm very concerned about this. But I can't help myself. I'm destined to live like this. Generally you'll never find a person as thin as me. But now I don't care. I have no aspirations except studying harder & getting admission in an MCA college. I'll work hard to become a Programmer, web & graphic designer & animator. I'd love to join Aaj-tak in any form. I also want to be a journalist there. Nothing else. No Girl-friend or friend, charizma or personality becoz I'm what I'm.
2. My strange behaviour: I strongly believe that there are 2 Shashanks in my body. One who says that I should not do this/that & other one forces to do that. One remains calm & composed, other remains a bit different. One wants to express himself, other tries to content himself. Though there's not much difference in the 2 avataars but I know that I need to keep one behaviour. I do many foolish mistakes in front of people. I don't want to give them any chance to laugh at me. But repeatedly I do the same mistake. I've lost all the confidence to speak to girls. Well I don't want to do that either. I'm happy in my own territory. I don't need people to talk. I don't get admirations so I'm happy getting no comments from people. My behave changes in front of girls. I hesitate, palpitate & struggle to walk normally in their presence. Here again that dual-personality comes to play. One shashank says that U should make yer presence felt among them and other says U don't need to impress them. I think 2nd shashank is right. I should concentrate on my studies.
3. Introvertism: This is a virtue I'd say is my asset. I don't want to lose this. This will give me enough time to think about my career. My fellows say I'm boring. But I say that I have qualities of an actor & mimicry artist. I can make them laugh & cry at the same time. My poetry is so emotional that majority of them are created with tears in my eyes. I don't think I'll feel comfortable with boys/girls of New delhi. I have to study there but I have made my mind up that I'll remain content within myself & not indulge in parties or anything like this. Though I'll be laughed at, but I know that I'm not worth getting a friend (in reality). I don't have qualities to make friends like good looks, physique or a perfect smile. I have crooked denture. But still I LUV BEING AN INTROVERT. MAGIC W& SAID THIS IS MY BRAHMAASTRA. THANKS FOR QUOTING THIS.
4. Shyness: If I feel miserable in girls' presence, I can say I'm shy. I'm even shy of my elder sister Shweta didi (daughter of our house owner). I'll tell about her in next post but lemme tell you she's a damn good didi. Cute, confident, gentle, cheerful & loving. Talking about my shyness, I'm telling that people don't like this. My own sister says to get rid of this much shyness. But I'm not going to do this. I'll remove this shyness when it comes to asking anything from men but definitely I'll not look into eyes of any girl except my sister's. I have audacity to gaze into the eyes of strictest of teachers (majority of my fellows can't do this. They fear that looking into teachers' eyes will cause teachers to ask them questions.) But I can do this without any hesitation. Why lose this asset just to get my eyes satisfied! My fellows say that God has given us eyes to see the beauty of girls. Why do you get yer off them? Then I say that I don't have looks & personality to do this (this kinda thing suits the boyz who are good to look at). When they (girls) laugh at me even if I'm not gazing at them, think what'll happen if I tease them? They'll say "naa shakal, naa soorat aur hamein ghoor rahaa hai". Also if I had a good face & personality, I wouldn't have done that. It's not my nature. PROUD TO BE SHY. BUT I'LL DEVELOP CONFIDENCE IN FRONT OF MEN IF NOT GIRLS. WAISE BHI JAB MAIN RITUL JI KI IZZAT KARTAA HOON TO MUJHE KYAA PADI HAI BAAKIYON SE BATIYAANAY KI? UNKAY AAGAY SAB FAIL.
5. My choices: Talking about my choice for a perfect date. The answer is no choice. I'm not worth getting a date & I love this. My choice for a perfect girl. Today's guys want Bold, assertive, scissor-U-thru style & underclad girls. And my choice is an educated but valued girl. She must know Indian culture even if she's educated in foreign. Simple, sober, educated, possessing high moral values & well dressed. Looks are not at all important. These are the qualities I want. But I'M NOT WORTH GETTING ANYKIND OF GIRL. WHY MAKE THE LIFE OF ANY GIRL HELLISH? I'M HAPPY LIVING ALONE. I DON'T WANT ANY GIRL IN MY LIFE.
So these are the 5 reasons that make me different. They seperate me from the rest. Log kaheingay ki Shashank to ajeeb praani hai. But I say I'M HAPPY BEING STRANGE. At least I'm not hurting any one physically pr mentally. MERE JAISAA Sample MILNAA MUSHKIL HI NAHIN NAAMUMKIN HAI!