Aksar tanhaaiyon mein

"Aksar tanhaaiyon mein, gumsum baithaa sochtaa hoon"

Aksar tanhaaiyon mein, gumsum baithaa sochtaa hoon,

Him ki sheetalta mein bhi, lapton saa dhadhaktaa hoon,

Jeenaa to hanskar chaahiyay, par kyun akelaa main sisaktaa hoon,

Kehnaa to chaahoon, par kahnay mein bhi jhijhaktaa hoon,

Khol doon darwaajay dil kay, ki dukh kaa saagar beh jaaye;

Naa jaanay kyun par, khud ko Zanjeeron mein jakadta hoon.

Bahut takleefein jhelee hain dil ne, bahut jhelni baaki hain,

Khud parvardigaar bhi rooth gayaa hai, aisa main samajhta hoon.

Jin aankhon mein bhari thi kabhi ek sharaarat, kabhi thi ek saumyataa;

Un aankhon ka darpan bhi ab roj badaltaa hoon.

Bahut samjhaayaa hai is dil ko, par ye nahin maanta hai;

Kaaboo paa loon in zazbaaton pe, isliye itnaa machaltaa hoon.

Woh tiraskaar, woh vyangya; woh ghrinaa, woh haasya;

Apnay inhin kaanon se roj main suntaa hoon.

Yaad kabhi karoon inhein dobaaraa to,foot foot kar bilakhtaa hoon.

Chalte-2 kyun ruk gayaa hoon, aage koi dariyaa bhi to nahin;

Par dil mein itni khalish hai, ki usi dariyaa mein doobtaa hoon.

Naa raahein mushkil hain, naa manzil aasaan,fir kyun ye maayusi hai;

Dil ki baat naa kar paaoon bayaan, isliye shabdon mein likhtaa hoon.

Har kisi ko matlab hai har kisi say;Har kisi ko shiqvaa hai har kisi say,

Naa mujhe matlab, naa mujhe shiqvaa, isliye sabse alag vichartaa hoon.

Gam to bahut dekhe hain in nainon nay, paap bhi dekhe hain;

Naa paap dekhoon, na gam dekhoon, tabhi to band aankhon say hi chaltaa hoon.

Astitva ki ladaayee main, shithil ho gaye hain paanv;

Shaayad tabhi daudanay ki bajaaye, ghutnon par ghisatataa hoon.

Armaan to bahut thay, sapnay beshumaar thay;

Kabhi mehfilon kay thay , to kahin bahaaron kay thay;

Par dhokhaa aisaa khaayaa kismat say;

Ki khud apnay haathon say, un armaanon ki kabra khodtaa hoon.

Aksar tanhaaiyon mein, gumsum baithaa sochtaa hoon.

): Composed By Shashank shekhar srivastava, the ShaZ :(

E-mail me: sha_22_11@yahoo.co.in

Call me: 01250-325752(try removin' 0 from 01250 if it doesn't work!)

SMS me: Same number.

Son N' Father

:)"Meeting Of Lost Son and Father"(:
Once upon a time, I saw a serious crime.
An old man was stopped, and his money was robbed.
The old man was helpless, but robber was merciless.
Said that old man "Give my purse back",
Robber said "Shut-up or I'll give you a slap".
Suddenly tears rolled down the robber's face,
The old man asked "What's the case?".
Robber said "I lost my father when I was a child",
From then everyone treated me like a wild.
I got his remindings when I closely saw you,
He was very long & his eyes were blue.
The old man asked him his father's name,
He replied gently, "Mr. Oliver jame".
My name is Austin, I'm just nineteen.
Said awfully that old man "Of god!, You're my son".
Yeah I think I lost you in Washington.
The son said, "Oh yes, yes You're my dad",
You have long moustache as he had.
"Please Dad, forgive me for me for my crime",
Our destiny made us see that bad time.
"Son, now we should go to our house", said old man merrily,
And then the Son & the father lived very very happily.
-Shashank shekhar srivastava @ ShaZ.
This poem was written by me when I was 13 years old, so it may not be very interesting.

Ghar Mein Aayaa Nayaa TV

"Ghar mein aayaa nayaa TV"
Ghar mein aayaa nayaa TV,
khush ho gaye, bachhay aur bivi,
Maan boli, udghaatan main karungi,
Patni boli karkay dekho, main lad maroongi,
Pati bechaaray ki aagayi shaamat,
TV naa aayaa, aa gayi aafat,
Baje 4.30, ladka bolaa dekhoongaa main He-man,
Pitaa ji baras pade, He-man dekhnaa hai pooraa ban,
Ladka cheekhaa, phir TV hai kisliye,
Apna bijli ka bill badhay, sirf isliye,
Baj gaye 6 ladki boli, dekhoongi main disney hour,
Pitaa chillaaye, nikal jaao abhi is kamray se baahar,
Ladki ban maasoom, poochhaa main kyun nahin dekh sakti,
Pitaa ji bole, Aray nikal jaao, mat khaa bhejaa abhi,
8.30 par patni boli main dekhun ab Yes boss,
Papa ji phir bolay, patni ji ho jaao yahaan se get lost,
Tabhi saas nikal aayin, boli TV dekh sakte hain hum bhi,
Abhi bajengay 10.30, phir dekhungi "Saas bhi kabhi bahu thi",
Dekhun kaise rokatay ho mujhe dekhne se TV,
Mat bhoolo main hoon Retrd. Major general ki bivi,
Goli maar denge tumko agar TV naa mujhko dekhne diyaa,
Aray, chand rupyon ke liye kyun jalaate ho apnaa jiaa,
Kyun nahin dekhne daytay, poochh rahi hoon kabse,
Bas daantay jaa rahe ho humein tabse,
Wo bolay, bataaon iska reason, dekhnaa hai mujhe Aaj-tak,
Ab tum sab chup ho jaao, band karo apni bak-bak,
Itna sunanaa thaa, ki pooray ghar mein mach gayaa kohraam,
"Hum naa dekhein tum kaise dekhogay" kar di saki neend kharaab,
Ho gayaa saaraa ghar ast-vyast,
Jhagday mein sab ho gaye past,
Ant mein sab nay jhagday ko rokaa,
Lambi saans kheen Pitaa ji kaa moonh bolaa,
"Apna nahin hai ye TV", sab bole phir TV hai kiskaa,
Pados ke sharma ji ne order diyaa thaa, TV laayaa hoon unkaa,
Ab to pataa chal gayaa naa, TV nahin ye apnaa,
Apnay naye TV ke baaray mein mat sajaao koi sapnaa.
-Composed by Shashank shekhar srivastava (It was written in the year 2001)

दिवाली Of 21.10.06.

It was the occasion of Diwaali. The date was 21st of october, 2006. I usually enjoy the festival of Diwaali because it comes in Autumn season & Eid, guru poornimaa also arrives with diwaali. I love celebrating Christmas also. But why I don't know all my excitements vanish on the day of every Diwaali I've seen? The day before Diwaali, there's no any limit of enthusiasm but on real day it disappears. The reason may be that I don't like crackers & people of India have confined Diwaali to crackers only. Also there is not any social interaction in my locality. Everyone celebrates festivals within his/her family. No one wants to wish others. So I find no one to celebrate festivals with, except my sister. So boring! Just lighting some Sparklers, candles & "Diyay". Eating sweets & going to bed thinking about previous Diwaali. It's the story of every year. This entire process continues every year & year by year the festival spirit decreases. So I was not much happy on 21.10.2006's morning. It was just like other ordinary days. No excitement, enthusiasm & happiness at all. Atmosphere was dull & uninteresting. So the day ended in somewhat decorating walls with lights, cleaning house & purchasing sweets. But the night time was just unexpected. I couldn't even dream about that. I was dressed up alongwith my sister. Then we did our Poojaa & came out of the room. Then suddenly Shweta didi came on terrace. She's only daughter of our house-owner. She had crackers & candles with her. She asked me to help her in arranging & lighting candles. Then she asked both me & my didi to burst crackers. I never enjoy crackers, neither my sister does. In fact my sister is very afraid of crackers which produce sound. So she was hesitating on bursting them. Then Shweta didi said these are non-sound producing crackers. So my sister took one and lighted. It was an "Anaar". Actually we both were bursting Anaar for the first time in our life. But we really enjoyed her company. After 5 years someone had celebrated any festival with me apart from my family. I remember we had some very good friends in C.C.I. (Cement corporation of India) colony. There were Riddhi-Siddhi, Keerti, Preeti didi & her bro. We all used to visit each other's home & exchange greeting cards. We used to enjoy Diwaali a lot there. But when we left C.C.I. everything changed. No one was to share the Diwaali feelings with us. But I was very happy to see Shweta Didi coming & celebrating with me & didi (Nidhi). I was amazed that "koi to mere saath khushiyaan baantnaa chaahtaa hai". I had never found any one interested to be in my company. She did that & It was really a special thing for me. Actually I think there is an invisible repulsive force around me that drives people away from me. I'm grateful to Shweta didi that she came & celebrated Diwaali with me. I respect you a lot. You are among those very few girls whom I respect. Why I like Diwaali even though I don't celebrate it with great excitement? Because in the autumn season great songs come. There's a festive smell in the air. I still remember the song "Kal tumhaaraa hai" sung by Sonu nigam in the Compaq computers Ad featuring SRK. This song reminds me of Diwaali. Weather becomes excellent. We get relief from the excessive heat. Also this Diwaali gave me chance to find my Idol (No guessing who's she?). I started liking her 6 days after or on the 7th day from this Diwaali. So I love Diwaali & especially this Diwaali which brought so many good things for me.

My Youth Festival Experience.

jiMy only memorable incident which I really want to tell again & again. I reckon it's 5th of september, 2006. Obviously it's The Teachers' day. So I alongwith my friend decided to wish our teachers in an attractive manner. I took the chalk & wrote HAPPY TEACHERS' DAY FROM ALL THE STUDENTS OF B.Sc IST YEAR in large letters on blackboard. I also decorated the blackboard by drawing flowers & other things. I used to do this on every occasion be it's any teacher's Birthday, any festival/occasion or Children's day etc, during my school life. I am pretty experienced in doing this. But I made a mistake. I wrote SEPTEMBAR instead of SEPTEMBER (you can still find this error on many ooccasions). When I was done drawing I returned to my place. A girl (Anita who's my rival at studies) stood up and rubbed that A & put E. I asked my friend to correct it. How foolish was this? LOL:)! But then I realised my mistake & put E again. So, Ist period was of our English teacher. She didn't notice anything. It's the 3rd period when the series of events started. Our Zoology Lecturer came. She had given us some diagrams to be drawn from home. They were extremely difficult to draw. I had drawn them on my notebook. When my turn came to show them, I went to her & shown my notebook. She was stunned to see all the diagrams drawn using a PEN not a pencil. The diagrams were too complex & had to be drawn in pencil. It required you to erase many lines every now & then. But I did all the diagram work using Pen & there was no mistake in any line. They're absolutely flawless. I was very happy that I made an impact on her. I usually can't impress teachers. I usually come out as an UNDERDOG. Bow bow! Now you'll think I'm behaving like "Apne moonh miyaa mitthoo". But I'm not telling about my drawing. It just triggered the entire series. Mrs Shamina Jain (our Zoology Lecturer) asked me if I'm interested in helping her in Stage decoration & Pot decoration. She asked me if I've ever done this. I was hesitant to say yes because I thought that It's Girls' work. But then I said yes. Anita also insisted to take part in this. My friends said to me I'm gonna be killed. She will be thinking about revenge. I'll tell about My College & class mates later. That's all happened in that single day. Next day A Maths teacher asked me to bring a "Kamohi" (A medium size earthen Pot) to start the proceedings. Then I along with my friend was asked to order 23 such Pots. Oh God! it was very difficult to bring all those pots in 1 trip. We consumed about entire day going from 1 place to another. But it was not done. All the excitement is yet to be told.
I tried in other activities of Youth festival (It was organised for the first time in our College.) like Painting/cartoon/poster making Competitions. I also submitted my name for Hindi/English song competition as well as Mimicry competition. Finally I gave my name for One act play. But there was politics going in the selection procedure. They have selected their favorite candidates many months earlier. They just wanted to pick me as a Gap filler. I thought it's my insult. I'd not take part in this. This decision was a bit hard as I was a regular participant of all the academical & Co-curricular activities in School. I remember I took part in 5 activities (Poster making, Orchetra, Science exhibition, Group song & One act play) in our Annual Function, 2003 & their time clashed. I had to send my friend to sit beside my Science model & performed Orchestra with a "False beard on my face + hair whitened"! So keeping myself off these was not easy but I didn't have any option. So I gave all my time to Pot decoration & I had a great time doing that. Though the work was not easy. But I enjoyed that work very much. I'm telling you my secret that I like the smell of Petroleum products/polishes/paints etc. That too made me curious to take part.
First we had to apply a coat of Black paint on all the pots. Then the 2nd coat. But my pots were to be painted with Golden colour. I had to make 2 pots with picture of Lord Ganesha & that was difficult. Ist to put the Golden coat which took 3 days to dry up. Then 2nd coat. And painting directly without erasing on an uneven surface was very time-taking & tough. Finally I used glitters' tube to draw. During all this, there was a Didi (Neeti, B.sc med IIIrd) with us & she was very helping. Though I was busy with my own work but I have had some conversations with her. I helped her in many ways alongwith my friend. He gets mixed up with people so easily that sometimes I think I'd be like him. Anyways I'm happy with myself & I'm happy being introvert. But 1 incident I still remember. I was in College Auditorium (so called) with my friend. Suddenly Neeti Didi came with her elder sister & started to conversate with him. I moved to other corner. Then Neeti didi introduced her sister to me. She asked me something but I didn't reply. Then Neeti didi said I'm very shy of girls. I was feeling miserable but it's my identity.
We all had to rush to our workplace. So we all went to Zoology lab where all the decoration work was happening. They started to conversate & my friend asked me to talk too. I talked with her but with my eyes facing ground. She told me that it seems you are having lack of confidence. If you go to any personality development class, the first thing they will tell you is to look into the eyes of person you are talking to. I agree but I can't help. That's all happened during our Inter-Zonal-Youth-Festival, 06 organized on 27,28 & 29th of september. Our college did a brilliant job getting many awards. My work was not award-winning but satisfying for me because I made good relationship with following teachers.
1. Shamina ma'm.
2. Anupamlata ma'm (Our Botany teacher we were considering as Hitler).
3. Anupamaa ma'm (Our Chemistry lecturer/Very strict & Discipline loving.)
4. Unknown sir (Some other class' English lecturer.)
5. Suneeta ma'm (Our 2nd Zoology lecturer.)

These are the songs I associate with that great period.
1. Tere Bin (Aatif Aslam /Mithoon).
2. Naksha (Sonu Nigam/Pritam).
3. Kya Mujhe Pyaar Hai (KK/Pritam).
4. All Aahistaa-Aahistaa songs (Wonder Himesh+KK+Kunal).
5. Ishk Kiyaa Kiyaa (HR/HR).
I really can't forget this Youth festival (even if I didn't do much for it.) But I got the chance to know about the nature of teachers. Anupamlata ma'm came out to be completely different. We thought she's arrogant & strict but she behaved very sweetly. She sung & also painted some pots. She got mixed up with us nicely. Otherwise I don't interact with teachers. I do just like this: They speak, I listen; They ask, I tell; I don't ask, they don't care! LOL :)I laugh like this. I don't laugh with showing many teeth & or with a sound. I simply show some teeth or just give a smile. So in next post, I'll tell you about my favourite dates. Hey not the dates with GF's (I don't have any & I dun want to have any) but some "Din/Taareekhein". Keep commenting (I know I don't get comments "Par likhnay mein kyaa jaataa hai.")

My Trip To Patna

It was 16th of june, 2007 when I left for Patna. Actually I & Didi had no interest in going there. It's very tiring & exhausting travel. A journey of about 1105 Kms by Bus & Train is very energy sapping (that too in the hottest month of the year!). All these things were haunting me. But when I woke up (at 4.00 A.M. as usual!) it was extremely pleasant weather. Slight drizzle had made the ennvironment nice. So we left at 8.00 A.M. But the tragedies started here. We had to reach New delhi Railway station & we didnot take the direct bus. We changed 3 buses & the last one was pathetic. Driver had started playing boring music. I didnot get the place for putting my feet. Jaise taise We reached New delhi Railway Station. Then we had to wait for 4.5 hours there. But the good thing was that train arrived at its right time (5.20 P.M.). We made ourself comfortable inside the train as there was no rush or hurry. We had reserved seats. There was a Bro-Sis duo in front of our seat & they were amusing. They were talking about computers & internet all the time. I really got a chance to know how much they knew about internet. They were strange! They were saying that while giving E-mail IDs one must give his/her password too! So our train left the station at 5.45 P.M. The start was boring as it didnot pickup the speed. But later on it was running with good pace. Papa told us to sleep at around 9.30 P.M. I went to the upper berth and it didnot have space to accomodate my legs. I had to bend them. But I slept well. Then I woke up at 4.17 A.M. It was "Mugalsaraay" junction. Then I woke my sister up & we brushed our teeth. She fell asleep again but I couldn't sleep more. Finally the train reached Patna railway station at 6.50 A.M. My mama had come to pick up us. We reached his flat at 7.15 A.M. But we were not excited on reaching there. I dunno why but there wasn't any excitement at all. First 2 days were like hell. But from Monday I got the chance to see Ritul ji @ 8.00 A.M. I also got a companion to get rid of all the boredom. Guess who? Aray yaar it's HR himself. I got an MP3 CD of his songs there and I just kept on listening to his soulful voice & composition. I also saw him on Aaj-tak on the occasion of "The World's Music Day". They had arranged for direct conversation with HR. I wished I could tell this to Magic W&. She'd have definitely called on number 011-23684888 to talk to him. I saw his interview on Zoom channel also. From then I started to feel like staying there with my sisters Gungun @ Aasthaa (9 yrs), Ishitaa-Harshitaa (13 yrs) & Sonali @ Khushi (5.5 yrs). I especially like Ishitaa-Harsitaa because of their gentle & obeying nature. We all visited Patna museum, Science center & Hanumaan mandir. We had a great time @ S.center. I really liked my elder mausi's food. She cooks just like my mom. We went to our 2nd mausi's house that was very far away. It took 40 minutes to reach there. There was reduced voltage & humdity. I was feeling very bored of that place. I was just thinking about Ritul ji. But it was more like a tension as I was thinking about blogs written for her. They were making me sick. I felt like crying. But I managed to get rid of those feelings because I know she's not like that. Any RITUL JOSHI JI fan reading this please reply. I also went to my mummy's mama's house. Their sons are originally our mamas but we call them bhaiyaa as they are of same age. They also have got a PC. I listened to HR's songs there. Last 4 days were very exciting. I didnot want to leave the place but I had to. I started to realize that it was my mistake not feeling great there. I developed a very strong bond with Gungun. I didnot like her earlier because she used to put pseudo allegations on me that I beat her & don't treat her normally. Actually I was jealous of her that she's getting so much affection from my parents & relatives. I myself was young at that time & no one paid attention towards me. Everyone was behind her. But now I realize my mistake. It was foolish to be jealous of my cute sister. So we had a great time there at Patna. I can't forget this place. It's my motherland & I love it, it's people, their accent & sweets. I missed Magic W& there a lot as there were no Cyber-cafes nearby. I couldn't contact her. But why didn't she reply? Well we left Patna on 28th of june. It was heart touching moment when I saw my Nana ji weaping. Even worse was that I forgot to touch his feet. My Maami ji also behaved with us in a very good manner. I liked her food. MAMA JI IF U R READING THIS, TELL MAAMI JI THAT I LOVED HER FRUIT CUSTARD & CHANAY KI SABJI. THEY BOTH WERE DELICIOUS. MAUSI JI (DEEPAA & VIBHAA) I LOVE YOU BOTH, MAUSA JI I RESPECT BOTH OF YOU & GUNGUN-ANMOL, KHUSHI, ISHITAA-HARSHITAA YOU ARE ALL GREAT, CUTE & CLOSE TO MY HEART. I'M MISSING ISHITAA-HARSHITAA'S LOVING, GUNGUN'S MISCHIEVOUS, ANMOL'S SCISSOR YOU THROUGH & KHUSHI'S TOUCH-ME-NOT BEHAVIOUR. NANA JI'S STORY TELLING, MAAMIJI'S ACCENT/LAUGHING/FOOD, DEEPAA MAUSI JI'S COOKING/ADVICE, VIBHAA MAUSI JI'S CHILDISH ACTS & MAUSA JI'S (donon) GENTLE NATURE. NAANI JI (BELATED) I LOVE YOU & MISS YOU A LOT. PATNA, A CITY CAN'T BE FORGOTTEN EASILY.Bas we reached New-delhi @ 8.45 A.M. on 29th of june. Finally we were inside our home @ 1.25 P.M. Aunty (our house-owner) had prepared food for us. We took the lunch & I went to watch the match. So it ends the story. Missing the place badly. Never know when I'll get the chance to visit Patna again. Kids will be grown up till our next visit. Tell what do you think? I'm desperately waiting for comments.

Ji Aap Kaun?

This story I'm writing to tell you an embarrassing incident of mine. What happened actually was that I was in Delhi to take my PMT (Pre medical test) in the year 2006. My center was in "Shreshtha vihaar". So I reached there 1.5 hours before the time. Now the funny part starts! A girl reached to me & asked me "Shashank, Tumhaaraa center bhi yahin par padaa hai kyaa?". I was shocked & surprised at this. This's really unexpected for me that a girl I don't know is approaching me and asking me something. Then I thought she might be my sister's friend & I must speak with respect. So I asked her "Ji, aap kaun hain?". She was stunned at this. Then she replied "Aray main Khushboo, tumhaari classmate". Now it was my turn to blush. Actually she was my classmate & we were studying together for two years (in class XIth & XIIth) & I had never seen her face that's why I made that silly mistake. This incident is so humorous that whenever I remember it I feel extremely strange on this. I had made that girl feel Embarrassed in front of her friend as well as myself in front of so many students. They were laughing at me. My cousin brother & sister, on listening to this, also made fun of me that I couldn't recognise a girl I was studying with for 2 years. Now I don't have audacity to face her. She might be thinking to take revenge. If she is reading this, I AM APOLOGIZING. PLEASE FORGIVE ME. She's still with me in the B.Sc IInd year. She was in Ist year with me too, but she has never said anything about this funny incident. There's no tradition of Boys & girls interaction in our college They speak to each other hiding themselves from others. Probably it's the reason that has saved me from her anger. Otherwise she'd have scolded me in front of other students. FUNNY!!! AIN'T IT?